I'm really shit at being an adult.

I don't think I'll survive when I have to move out. My parents been away for five days and I have already come dangerously close to turning into a wolf-child*. I managed to trash about 87% of the house on my own within the first six hours of their leaving, and pretty much all I've done this weekend is drink too much, watch the whole of Green Wing on 4od for the sixtyhundreth time, and re-kindle an obsession with Stephen Mangan. I think I've probably lost about 60 kilos as well, cause all I've eaten is like, a sweet potato and a cuppa soup.
I have managed to keep the cats alive though.



Look at those curls. I think I might even prefer him to Neil.















*dangerous for others, obviously I'd love to be a wolf-child

Let us hunt some orc.

Sometimes when I go running I pretend to be Aragorn chasing orcs because that way it is much more fun.


Once for authenticity I took my fake beard with me, but it was itchy and I had to hang it round my neck instead and some of the hairs fell out and it looked like I had really long pubes on my chest so I didn't take it again.

One day I think I will take my sword.

Bitch be wary.



Giftshops

Me and Katie both do some sort of history course, and are often finding ourselves at one museum or another. Following suit from a man I once met in Scotland who found himself at golf courses far too often, I figured that we ought to put our experiences to good use also, and so have compiled this list of the good, the bad and the average gift shops, because I will do almost anything to avoid doing archaeology coursework. Hopefully it will be of endless use.

1. Orkney, Skara Brae – yak hats = good, but fudge was too expensive.  6/10
2. Culloden - Neil Oliver book = good, but glass wall no good for armyrolling behind to hide from teachers who think you’re in the museum doing learning.  8/10
3. Norman Castle in Norfolk – Beatles pens + flowery jewellery, which was nice but irrelevant, we think. However it did have a book with skeletons doing funny poses, including one who looked like he’d been punched in the nads.  9/10
4. Castle Rising – children’s dress up clothes w/ swords/ chain mail etc = cool + fun, but the man behind till who looked like he’d been there all his life sort of ruined everything for us when he started going on and on about missionaries from the continent or something.  7/10
5. British History Museum – nice flowery notebooks + cool masks + the diaries that Kate and I always look through, but VERY EXPENSIVE. 6/10
6. Ely Cathedral – again, a nice range of diaries for us to peruse, books on how to make chocolate puddings – made us hungry, so bad. Also, expensive trinket boxes that Kate loved = not fair.  5/10
7. Somewhere in the fens in East Angular where we saw that big white bird – nice fairy lights leading up to it, books about pretty birds and stuff, Kendal mint cake. 9/10

oop, colour coded.

we luv neil